After a month and a half of not going to the gym I decided to revisit this pastime I used to be all about. I used to be such a gym junkie, gym go-er, gym do-er. I had my moments of trying to get my body super sculpted, lifting weights, performing multiple exercises, and implementing restricting diets.

I guess I went today because it’s been so long, and a natural part of my life. To my surprise, I was not feeling it at all. At all.

I tried things I usually do, but sets and duration were much shorter. I no longer had the desire to get my body to look a certain way. I just wanted to get the qi moving and flowing.

To tell you the truth, I think I have over trained in my past, leading me to think that excessive exercise isn’t necessary, and doesn’t necessarily lead to better health. Lifting weights all the time, for example, overtime, is too much for the body. All that concentric movement causes energetic restriction. Things get tight. “Tight” the glorified body type that signifies dedication, work ethic, and hard work. Sure, but I must say, as I get older, that kind of body type is not necessarily much more attractive or the preferred body type.


Apparently a move into a new cycle with a focus on nutrition and health. I never felt more ready to put much effort into how I am eating and how my schedule is conducted. I’m ready for that simplicity though.

It used to be about fitness, but I am really not interested in working out like how I used to. I spent so much money and energy developing my muscles, and I believe that my home yoga, running, stretching, and walking to school is sufficient.

The new focus is meditation, diet, and sleep. Sleep by 10, in bed by 9:30, work towards veganism, and meditation every morning and every night.


Since the Vipassana Meditation, I have been practicing a plant based diet. Predominantly I eat vegetarian with small amounts of fish or shell fish. If you have read past posts, I have also experimented with Paleo. Though some constitutional types need meat, an excess amount is ill advised.

From my cyclical diet plans, I have noticed that with vegetarianism, my external appearance looks more youthful. The first 10 days seem to result in a natural facelift. Whereas, the first 10 days of paleo, higher amounts of meat results in a healthy robustness, and fat loss. However, for me, a paleo diet is not sustainable. Giving up grains completely leads me to over consuming meat products which over time, will cause degeneration.

I realize now, a plant based diet is the way to go. I’m not saying I will never eat meat, but if I do, I prefer organic & grassfed. Typically, women who eat plant based diets may want to eat meat after their menstrual cycle to rebuild blood, which therein nourishes the body for proper functioning.

One pitfall a vegetarian diet can perpetuate is the consumption of excessive grains, especially in the consumption of refined grains like white rice.  I recently changed to eating brown rice, as white can cause an insulin spike. Thus, white breads and white sugar should also be avoided. That being said, not all grains are bad, and some very good, but there are certainly poor choices, and excessive consumption of these is ill advised.

Currently, with a month into lacto-ovo vegeatarianism, I realize I would like to eliminate dairy. I do not drink milk, but cheese is so flavorful and satisfying for the taste buds. I do not however believe that it really adds to my constitution. I was actually born lactose intolerant, so my constitution actually is intolerant to cow’s milk. Goat milk is probably a safer choice, dairy free is probably the best choice.

That being said, apparently as a child I did not enjoy eating meat. In fact, when I ate beef, my tongue and lips would swell. Perhaps an allergic reaction, I presume so. The body’s response to food is a big signal to yourself. In order to build your sensitivity to what is healthy for your body, you must purify with clean water, exercise, sound sleep, be drug free, including alcohol free, order your surroundings, and clear your mind.

2016 was the first year that improving my fitness was not a resolution. My body has been worked quite a bit, and sometimes I feel I have over trained. I’m hoping that vegetarianism will help balance it out. The body needs exercise, but it doesn’t need to be super rigorous and intense, a truth that the fitness industry does not advocate. The industry, especially body building, promotes more exercise, bigger muscles, and for competition, water depletion, which is horrible for your body. Your body is like 90% water.

It’s great to see active people, but over active and obsession in the pursuit of attaining an image of “superior” strength with bulging muscles is a commitment few can attain unless their whole life is centered around it. I recognize the discipline behind it, but like paleo, it’s not sustaining. Those big muscles will eventually cause a puffy look if fat percentage is not managed. Moreover, all the concentric movements can cause energetic blockages, and improper placements of muscles in the fascia.

In conclusion, this year, my fitness will include home yoga, stretching and some running, not working out every day. My diet will remain plant based with a direction into veganism, something I have not fully explored but would like to, to see if it is for me. And last but not least, meditation, my new obsession ;)

A lot has shifted.

One, because of the vipassana meditation I went to during this past Christmas and New Years, two, my prefrontal cortex is finally taking full development, three, awakening is full blast.

I let go of so much, and constantly wanting to simplify.

The idea is to just be. To breathe.


There has been so much that has shifted, but one of the major things is realizing the meaning of a past dream, one particular one that I have written about in detail 2 years ago.

I imported previous blog posts on my old blog to here. I rebooted this site, and now I have 6 years of writing, past experiences, and evolving consciousness in one place. I never saw writing as a hobby or potential career, but just something I did. Years later, I feel like this is what I have to offer to the world, an intimate, vulnerable, sharing of life. I have written about things I don’t even dare mention in real life. Perhaps there is something so liberating about sharing yourself with whoever has no relation to you.

Getting back to the dream,…I realized that it was a spiritual dream, about ascension, evolution, and ultimately the process of the ‘rainbow body’. It was a shock to learn about years later, but when I came across information about this, it clicked. The climax of the dream was a radiant rainbow of what I thought was a plant. I am not sure exactly what the shape was, I initially thought it was marijuana, because I could not interpret what I saw.

I often have very vivid dreams. I see things that I cannot explain or see in real life.

When I saw a picture of the rainbow body, I realized it was the exact same pattern that I had seen in my dream.

Truthfully, my life seems to be getting simultaneously stranger and clearer. My friends always joked about how I was different and from another planet. As I grow older, I believe that more. I have had dreams or maybe memories of being in another place/planet/community. It felt so incredibly free and joyful. On earth, I often times feel out of place, and that I’ve been here before. I’ve always felt like I had something to do here. I’m not caught up in the rat race, or at least it feels very unnatural. What I mean by this is that I have an identity or personality that functions in that world. And then there’s the other part of me that operates outside of that paradigm. At the moment, however, I am integrating both, one so people can understand me, two so people can see me.


As I purify myself,…I shed more of the conditioning and “normalized” patterns of being. I can shed that ego,…but sometimes, other people’s vibration will bring it out. It’s like speaking a different language to communicate by being.

Perhaps that’s why I like expressive outlets.

This is probably the strangest update because the written experiences seem intangible, but the more I learn about the body, such as the pineal gland, DNA, meditation, and spirituality, the more I realize that I am progressively seeing in a new light.

Others might think I’m crazy or weird, but that’s not anything new. ;)


I guess I wish that I met someone else that is going through this shift of awareness so we can share our spiritual phenomena in detail. Maybe you are one, and that is awesome because collective consciousness changes life.


I’ve done Float Matrix twice now because the first time was so good.

A typical float is an hour long, though I think it should be about 75 minutes.

Nonetheless, this sensory deprivation abyss is able to reformat my posture into an anatomically correct position. Though, like I mentioned earlier, I felt like I needed an extra 15 minutes to completely unwind.

The aftermath kind of feels like getting a massage, though I would not substitute it for the former because nothing compares to human touch.

It is definitely a relaxing experience, one may argue an out of body experience due to the pitch darkness and feeling of floating in a neverending sea. The environment conceptually lets your mind wander, and perhaps the moment of letting go in a dark void is what can be potentially transformational beyond a physical understanding.

It may take you beyond, maybe because the absence of light stimulates production of melatonin despite the short duration. It didn’t occur to me until float matrix to sleep in a very dark room-so the pineal gland can operate properly, providing proper health functioning and the potential to transverse galactic realities. So yes, after the first time, I slept like a baby. It felt like gravity was nailing me down so hard to the bed.

The second time was good, but not as moving as the first time. I will be a regular though-out of curiosity to see how the experience compares to the last. Never leave a good thing.



The relief I received from needling myself is enough to get me wanting to get back to school. The instance is a legitimate motivator, but also the realization of needing to honor the healing path, and choosing to do what will help me and be of service to others. Sacrifices will be made, but it’s one I’m ready to make.

The world is in need of healing and the potential of acupuncture can help redirect one’s path to a healthy pattern.

It appears that acupuncture is misunderstood, as scientific studies are attempting to quantify how it works. Truthfully, I don’t believe the whole complete experience of acupuncture can be measured. Some experiences exist outside the realm of what is measurable. In my opinion, the practitioner plays a considerable role in its effectiveness.

I speculate, this profession though undergoing speculation, will be in for the long run. Robotics due to its man made essence lacks the natural beingness of humanity. The magic happens exclusively from any contrived manner.

The reason I am sharing this is because I have been experiencing body pain. A few days ago my piriformis was so tight, my lumbar region was compromised as well. Sleeping was uncomfortable. The following day I whipped out my needles for three rounds of acupuncture. I needled into the tender points, near the attachments, and surrounding areas that I felt needed needles. I was able to relieve the condition about 80%. The following day, the pain was gone.

Acupuncture can do things and reach places that other modalities can’t, which is the reason to the varying medical and health professions and specializations.

As I been on break from school, I never imagined I would need acupuncture. This experience in addition with a few heart felt conversations have inspired me to want to explore this medicine again.

At the moment I’m choosing to dis identify with the religious and philosophical texts and am referring to it, yoga, as a physical benefit.

I’ve been pracing since 2005, and recently I decided to stop attending class.

Instead, I’ve been opting to practice in my spontaneous time.

What I realize is that the concept of yoga as a physical practice allows us to explore movement, suspension, and stretching in multiple planes, all planes of accessibility.

In fact when we break out of the mold of poses and sequences, our body intelligence or perhaps, intuition, will show us what we need, thus morphing our bodies into ways that will release blocked energy to realize ease, peace, naturalness.

This sort of re-calibration of sensory output due to embracing the unknown is how we can take better care of ourselves, and make body treatments last.

I had this epiphany as I was practicing crow pose. When my legs were symmetrical, properly placed on top of my arms, my top body fell forward. As I rooted my arms, and slowly lifted my head, I noticed a stretch in the area of my cervical and upper thoracic spine. I suspect this pose is incredibly targeted to enhance structural alignment.

And this is why, practicing yoga is aligned with chiropractic care.

I wish I didn’t spend so much on clothing. Seems to be that every few years I end up selling or trying to de-clutter my closet. I hope this is the last time. Maybe it’s something to do with growing up, but I am valuing a simple life, in what I do, wear, mostly everything. It almost feels as if something just hit me, a big wave of energy that is shifting so much of my life.

As I departed ways with excess, my life has gained more momentum. I look forward to what I’m doing every day and that feels good, and it feels so different from the last 4 years of my life. I definitely went through a dark night of the soul phase. Times where I didn’t have energy to do anything because my mind and emotions were all over the place. I was sick, in a different way.

It’s strange because I’m not chasing happiness, material, wealth. I just want to be good at what I do and help people. At the moment, I’m not pursuing artistic aspirations. At times, I think about pursuing acting, but I know the time is not right. It’s like my purpose has changed, and I want to help people heal. I don’t know what is in store for me, but I’m excited about the next step, the next phase, the contribution to society.

When I was younger, I read about not putting energy into things but into people, into service. I always knew that was where it’s at, but I couldn’t just be there. I had to go through the process of breaking down, building myself up, and healing to truly be here.

So I guess even though we wish for things sooner, or to be different, or wish we made better choices, it all has a purpose in timing. We live in a culture that is all about instant gratification, that the hard work and process is not valued or recognized. Everybody has done so much work to get where they are. I hope we as a society can take that to heart and be compassionate and understanding to one’s process. I hope we can provide the space for people to journey through it too.

Lastly, I wish I forgave easier and let go quicker. The heart doesn’t need that heaviness, but we have to know, we need to drop the stones because when we hurt others, we hurt ourselves. And sometimes, the hurtful events are so much to process, that our bodies take a long time to feel its impact. So, I’m sorry to the ones I hurt.


Hot Pilates at Yoga Source Palo Alto with Mara. Hands down, one of the best fitness discoveries this whole year. This class will whip your booty into shape so if you are looking for that challenging class to take you to the next level in your fitness, look no further. This is it. Great upbeat music, clear instruction, and body weight movements to keep that adrenaline rush flowing.

This is a super popular class, and I have been unable to get in on it due to too many bodies. Get there early, I’d say at least 10 minutes to guarantee your spot.

I also enjoy how this class begins at 5pm on Tuesdays. It’s a great time to sweat it out before a nourishing dinner.

The first time I took this class, I was blown away. There is a spiritual element to this class due to the constant rhythmic movements, and the amount of energy everybody exudes. Hence, it entails that yogic aspect, but is far from yoga.

Definitely take advantage of their intro deal, but beware you may just get hooked! I did, I ended up buying another 5 pack after.

Also, I have taken two other yoga classes here. They are pretty good, not what I get at Samyama Yoga Center with Shastri, but they get you in that space, and it’s refreshing to take modern style yoga classes; every teacher has something to offer.

I have two more classes left until I say sayonara. I commute 40 minutes to this class as well as SYC. The classes are so good, but the drive is taking its toll. Hopefully I’ll find just as good fitness classes near me, and if I do, they will for sure end up here. =)

Yosemite was such a profound experience for me. Something about nature, rock, the grounding, the escape from the status quo world, the natural beauty of living plant, the blue sky, the animals that frolic, all cumulatively clear the mind to reveal truth.

The truth for me is that I am to traverse the earth as a healer. Perhaps that’s not the correct term, or label, there’s this whole notion that people who facilitate healing are actually not healing but providing the space and guidance for one to do so.

I’ve been battling this for a few years, but I’m tired of fighting, and now am looking forward to seeing this journey unfold. There were times I convinced myself that I could make my reality the way I wanted to, and yes there is free choice and will, but destiny has its place. I learned that in TCM school-the zhi, the will, the destiny. I believe one will realize it when they align heart, body, and mind. In order to do so, one must purify themselves to rid themselves of toxins and distractions that no longer serve their higher self.

This trip was the most memorable nature hike thus far. Reason being, I had one hour of sleep the night before, regurgitated right before the hike, practiced dynamic breathing when I felt I could fall asleep every step I took, and became re energized when I reached the top of the mountain, Cloud’s Rest. It was incredibly physically challenging, and a task I don’t think I could have done without the people I went with. 6 guys & me. I always enjoy male energy; there is an adventurousness I find in male companions. Although I am female in this current life, there are definitely parts of me that lead me to believe I was male in past lives.

I think Yosemite was a reminder for me. A message telling me to pay attention to the universe, to nature, and that it will lead me to my truth. It’s funny because I was wearing this long sleeved shirt that says, “Truth Rising” and that is exactly the theme of Yosemite for me.





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